I've been having real issues lately trying to decide what I want to do with my career. I thought when I started here that I would be happy staying in mid level admin because it would help my health, and I'm not saying I'm unhappy with my job, I really do like it, and want to stay for a good while, but I can't see myself being happy at this level for like 20 years. I've had more responsibility in other positions, and would like to be back there sometime again. But, I'm scared that taking a higher position in an ivy school would stress me out way more than I could handle.
So, basically, I've been really down that I don't have a future.
It doesn't help that I'm sitting here listening to a student talk about the gossip on who to and not to intern for, and one of the people they are saying not to work with is specifically because the person has been having problems with MS. I'm so scared of being that person someday. Making a great career, but then having MS come up and basically take away my life. On the other hand, I really don't want to live in fear of ruining my health, and then missing out because I haven't used the time I do have wisely.
Now, to not live in my own head, I was given a few new big projects this week, so I already know I'm slowly taking on more responsibility, and eventually, if I keep working hard, I will have the position that I want, and will be able to balance my health with it. I don't know why I'm so worried, none of my worries are founded in reality, but I can't seem to shake worry about a career.
1 comment:
There's way too much pressure on young women--especially young wives--to achieve status in their careers. Looking down the road 20 years is terrifying anyway, but when you honestly face the uncertainty of the future, it becomes futile. Life happens--motherhood, wifehood, financial distress, illness--and women traditionally feel those bumps the most. Because of your own situation, you understand better that life is going to throw us some unexpected pitches, but just because others are still blissfully ignorant, don't let their naivete make you feel bad.
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