Mumbling while I should pack... but I need to just sit and mummble.
It seems like there is never enough time, but somehow, we are getting on a plane tomorrow no matter what is done or undone.
I felt so on top of it until the last week. I was all ready, all the gifts and cards were getting in the mail. Then, the ominous then, I forgot which day Abi was leaving for Europe, so she couldn't hand deliver Dave's present. Next, I proceeded to misplace Dave's present completely. I think it fell behind the dresser, but I haven't been able to move it. Just too much stuff in it. Long story short, Dave gets shorted again, and will have to wait for his gift. On a positive note, as soon as I find the original, he will get two? This is what I get for being so excited and getting it done way too early, but not mailing it as soon as it was finished.
Then, work got crazy. I knew it would, but I wasn't quite sure I was ready for it.
Background, while everyone thinks that the Holidays just close at schools, for a select few, Schedulers, Registrars, anyone who needs to do stuff for students) it is a very busy time. All the classes need to be set, the rooms assigned, and the entire schedule for spring input. Since everything has to wait for the classes, it is the tightest turn around that we have all year.
Luckily, I have an amazing Registrar I work with. Even though she was way too busy to be setting things, she did the best she could the curriculum ended up handed to me, on Monday at 5. In the past we have had to manually transfer the curriculum from one software to another. My goal at work has been to automate the transfer. We've been testing the upload process months. Miracles happen, and luckily, the upload worked on the second try. Best work moment of the year, and so what took 3 weeks, now takes three days. Like I said, best work day ever. It was still a bit tighter than I like, but now I know it works, and can leave for vacation feeling almost not behind. There is still a ton to enter when I get back.
Then, a totally positive then, I recieved a few new commissions for very fun projects. I've knit every spare moment plus some. Even more I still can say each piece gets better than the last. I'll share pictures when I get back.
Either way, I am so excited for the vacation. I'm happy about seeing everyone and spending time with the family.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
what we hold on to
It never ceases to amaze me what I hold on to, or reach out for, in a completely non-threatening situation. Yesterday I was riding down the elevator at work when a whole bunch of older men got in from the Business School. All of a sudden I was crunched into a corner with all these guys talking about their huge mergers (or something with money), and one of them kept giving me (in my opinion) strange looks. The looks you get when someone thinks, how cute, a young'in scared of graduate school. (Which I found rather entertaining/annoying considering I am an employee in good standing, who just happens to be quite a bit younger than her counterparts.)
For the first time in a while, at least in a move for self worth, I thought to myself, "I am a successful young adult, with a very happy marriage, and two masters degrees, working at an incredibly respected, although possibly fairly stuck up at times, institution, who really does like who she is and feels like she deserves more than strange looks from men at least as old as her father who feel some need to be cool by ignoring the little kid in the back".
It really surprised me that this was my thought train, because I've been working pretty hard to let that kind of odd self image go. It isn't healthy to hold on to my education or job as who I am and why I'm worth something, especially when everyone who walks into my floor thinks I'm a receptionist based on the placement of my desk. I'd have a huge complex if I cared that much about appearances. I love my schools, but I don't want to be that kind of person who is always the girl from "x" who can't stop talking about her degree either. Its odd being in a community that places so much on things that in the long run really don't matter much.
I think I'm happier knowing I have a wonderful home, that despite physical limits is just right for Ted and I. The thought that someday (emphasis on the someday) we will hopefully be blessed with children and the health to care for them. And that I still have an abiding hope that there is something more than what we can see/have on this earth.
I know I've been a lot more centered on the whole "who am I now" issues since last October, especially as I really have had to decide if my priorities and goals are the best ones for me in the long term, even though we will have no clue until the long term comes. And I'm not always positive about having to change my point of view, but it is nice to know that more and more often, I can see what really matters. Its a change I've been looking for for quite a while, and maybe means more to me because I'm seeing it in winter. Its easy to think things are great when the weather is nice, and the world looks pretty, but when the windchill is bitter, and no one is smiling, its nice to see that I might be warm on the inside, even if I'm cold on the outside.
For the first time in a while, at least in a move for self worth, I thought to myself, "I am a successful young adult, with a very happy marriage, and two masters degrees, working at an incredibly respected, although possibly fairly stuck up at times, institution, who really does like who she is and feels like she deserves more than strange looks from men at least as old as her father who feel some need to be cool by ignoring the little kid in the back".
It really surprised me that this was my thought train, because I've been working pretty hard to let that kind of odd self image go. It isn't healthy to hold on to my education or job as who I am and why I'm worth something, especially when everyone who walks into my floor thinks I'm a receptionist based on the placement of my desk. I'd have a huge complex if I cared that much about appearances. I love my schools, but I don't want to be that kind of person who is always the girl from "x" who can't stop talking about her degree either. Its odd being in a community that places so much on things that in the long run really don't matter much.
I think I'm happier knowing I have a wonderful home, that despite physical limits is just right for Ted and I. The thought that someday (emphasis on the someday) we will hopefully be blessed with children and the health to care for them. And that I still have an abiding hope that there is something more than what we can see/have on this earth.
I know I've been a lot more centered on the whole "who am I now" issues since last October, especially as I really have had to decide if my priorities and goals are the best ones for me in the long term, even though we will have no clue until the long term comes. And I'm not always positive about having to change my point of view, but it is nice to know that more and more often, I can see what really matters. Its a change I've been looking for for quite a while, and maybe means more to me because I'm seeing it in winter. Its easy to think things are great when the weather is nice, and the world looks pretty, but when the windchill is bitter, and no one is smiling, its nice to see that I might be warm on the inside, even if I'm cold on the outside.
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